the more you hurt, the more you love: an alternative bachelorettes’ party

Dearest ______,

Try Googling “lesbian bachelorette party ideas” and you’ll be surprised how same-sex preference is used as themes for straight couples’ Stag or Hen parties. While amusing to some, this bit of new information doesn’t really help you when you’re trying to throw a pre- wedding party for an actual gay couple. An interesting and unique occasion surely calls for something equally interesting and unique.



One clever idea that we saw floating around the Internet was a game of paintball with/for the bachelorette/s. Plural for this occasion.
Because it doesn’t get any more alternative and outside-the-box than shooting the person you love:
“The more you hate hurt, the more you love.”



What turned out to be one of the most physically painful things I’ve ever endured (getting shot several times), was also one of the most exciting and fun experiences I’ve ever had in that side of the city state. From shooting at each other in wedding veils and sweaty camouflaged tops, to hiking through a dirt road in the middle of a jungle, to having paella and alcohol in the afternoon- it was a, well, gay old time for all of us!



And I am totally excited to be attending a same-sex wedding ceremony for the first time in my life! I’m not going to attempt justifying the excitement with lines straight out of recent Gender Studies articles or news on the LGBT socio-political climate around the world today, simply because I know little about those things.
What I know is what I do know personally. And that is as basic as the most basic Cher dance moves: gay couples who I personally know and admire- like Bixie and Vhop- truly, happily, and all- consumingly love each other.
Just like everybody else.


We couldn’t be happier for them finding a beautiful spot beside a lake where they can finally say it as it is, cool breeze and autumnal leaves witnesses enough to feelings universal and true.

We will be there, of course, throwing glitter and air kisses to double rainbows in the sky; grateful for a changing world that holds more possibilities for those who simply choose to love.



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Photography and text by Author unless otherwise stated. All rights reserved.


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