I count myself lucky to have Iived through one of the biggest (if not the biggest) events in human history. More than just watching the 1900’s get shelved to usher in the 2000’s, I’m talking about how everything else had been shelved by the juggernaut that has been, or is, the Internet.
Whenever friends find out that I’ve gone Vegetarian, they usually stare at me in disbelief, follwed with a variety of the funniest looks of bewilderment.
“Are you sure?”
“How could you, why would you?”
“But you used to love ______… don’t you miss ______ at all?”
People say I’m being a fadist, some say it’s probably just a phase.
And I say, peas be with you! 🙂
Because vegetables are funny little things (have you seen a potato lately?), I find that vegetarians are the butts roots of some of the crudest, most sarcastic, and ultimately, funniest statements out there.
“I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.”
– A. Whitney Brown
“HAM AND EGGS – A day’s work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig. ”
“Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head. ”
– Ambrose Bierce
“Asparagus inspires gentle thoughts. ”
– Charles Lamb
“Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning ‘lousy hunter’”
– Andy Rooney
“Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.”
– Shari R. Barr
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More letters, more love!
Photography and text by Author unless otherwise stated. All rights reserved.
When I found out that my friends and I were going to Tagayatay (Cavite, Philippines), I quickly nominated eating at Antonio’s for lunch. Because everybody, and I mean,everybody has been saying amazing things about it, all through the years.
The day we drove up to Tagaytay though, was a Monday. F for failed research, because Monday actually happens to be the only day Antonio’s is closed for general cleaning and maintenance. None of us knew this, so we had to unanimously vote for a substitute- Sonya’s Graden. Of course “unanimous” only means that I practically had to plead and hard- sell the case to a car full of carnivorous males.
PMS: Love, love, love– I am so sick of that word! NormalSelf: You chose to wear those rings… PMS: … Grrrrrrrrrrr!!!
ON ONE’S APPEARANCE:
PMS: And why oh why, oh why, did I wear this stupid white dress today? Then everybody will know when the Red Nile overfloweth! Why… Why… Why… NormalSelf: … PMS: Why… Why… Why…
ON ONE’S PERSPECTIVE:
PMS: That is the ugliest freakin’ cake I’ve seen in my whole life. NormalSelf: You made it. PMS: Oh just shut up.
ON ONE’S FULFILLMENT:
PMS: What am I still doing here? Why am I still doing this? I don’t want to be here anymore… What is my purpose in life? I am not happy… Oh my God, I am not happy at all… NormalSelf: OH WOULD YOU JUST ZIP IT, YOU WHINY LITTLE —–? GET OVER IT. IT’S ALL IN THE MIND. YOU’RE ALL IN THE MIND. TAKE A CHILL PILL (PREFERABLY SOME MIDOL AND A HOT PRESS) AND SLEEP IT OFF!
Tomorrow, you will fall in love with everything all over again.
Love in the Time of PMS, Karlita
PHOTOGRAPHY & TEXT BY AUTHOR UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
He just flew in from Thailand, after four lazy days spent on the gorgeous beaches of Phuket and Phi Phi Islands. Lucky, lucky He, while the rest of us have been having atrocious weather in the city for the past few days.
She Said: Oooh my Goood… how gorgeous were the beaches. Jealousy is a warm gun. Bang, bang, bang. I die…
He Said: Hold shift + ctrl + zoom to see the ladyboy. Bang!