the how (part 2)

Photo by Halfray (post- processed by Author)

Dearest ______,

Previously, on the how (part 1).

The moment you decide on throwing a wedding party (however small that may be), things are bound to get a little more complicated than, say, winging it in Vegas with an Elvis impersonator and a dinner- for- two. Here are some helpful points though, which afforded us a relatively complication- free intimate wedding party in Singapore:-

Continue reading “the how (part 2)”

the how (part 1)

Dearest ______,

Previously, on the why.

In Architecture and Design, we’ve long realised that a building or a room is merely an end product; an output. And one that evolves from a three or four year- long grind of design presentations, meetings, arguments, compromise, science, law, and what not.

Both of us being exposed to this kind of work, Jawo and I instinctively applied an almost systematic approach to our own wedding- planning (the wedding being another form of major output in our lives after all; its completion, only 10 months after the project proposal).


In the same manner one tries to leave office work inside the office, we’d decided earlier on that we would keep work on our upcoming nuptials at bay. Simply put, we didn’t want one wedding day (even if it is ours) to take over our daily lives for the next 10 months.

Continue reading “the how (part 1)”

not with hens, but kitties

Dearest ______,

We, women, are a complicated lot: we over- think almost everything, we don’t make friends with each other as easily as boys do, we are at some point (or once a month) overly sensitive and emotional, et cetera.

Despite these eccentricities though, there are just moments when I’m amazed at how much women can be, well, amazing. Case in point: my Hen’s Kitties’ Night Out. AKA the Bachelorette Party.

Irene and Bea “fetched” me at Starbucks. The night before this, Angel and Maan texted me to do some “Homework” and bring an overnight bag. And that’s all that they said.
I was so anxious when I met them, I was sweating coffee out of every pore.

Continue reading “not with hens, but kitties”

the why

Dearest ______,

I met Jawo when we were both 18 years old and studying Architecture in Manila:

He, the ill- advised Alpha Male that he was; I, the misguided feminist.

Owing to our opposing (and mostly unreasonable) views on many things at that point, we were quite a match made in hell. There were many a ruined parties / drinking sessions we wrecked by some form of full- blown argument at the end of the night. This was to the frustration of our helpless friends, including my very polite part- Japanese roommate Miko.


Our weird frenemy-ship was also to our own confusion, because while we were very annoyed by each other’s individual conceits, we found that we also liked being around each other for odd frequencies of time. Mind you and our understandably suspicious ex- partners, we never went out on “dates”.

We’d only go out to watch punk/ ska/ metal/ swing gigs together (“Hey, do you wanna catch the Brass Munkeys at 70’s Bistro tonight? Oh, and I’m also outside your apartment.”);

Or buy bootleg merchandise from the pirates of Recto (“Cynthia and the Swing Set or Squirrel Nut Zippers?”);

Or literally just sit down by some pavement somewhere to talk about god-knows-what (“Let’s see if we can finish this fat- ass cigar by morning.”);

Or drink at bars;

Or go to band practice, etc.

We found out soon enough though, that more important than all the misdirected cockiness we had as extremely foolish kids, we also had very similar old- school, almost rigid belief systems in the more essential things in life (i.e. principles on family, real friendship, faith, etc).

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A little after my 28th birthday last year, Jawo and I decidedly decided to get married. This comes 11 years after our first meeting, 11 years comprising of:

– 4 years of being classmates in College

– 3 girlfriends (plus a slew of plain janes)

– 3 boyfriends (plus a few adolescent heart breaks)

– 5 years of being together together

– 8 years of being the Ringo Starr to his John Lennon

– 97% Ups and 3% Downs

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As to the Why of it all, comedienne Mindy Kaling sums it up quite sufficiently:

“In Shakespearean comedies, the wedding is the end, and there isn’t much indication of what happily ever after will look like day to day. In real life, shouldn’t a wedding be an awesome party you throw with your great pal, in the presence of a bunch of your other friends? A great day, for sure, but not the beginning and certainly not the end of your friendship with a person you can’t wait to talk about gardening with for the next forty years. Maybe the point is that any marriage is work, but you may as well pick work that you like.”



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